


>MAKE A CHOICE

by Cana_banana



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: 2nd person writing, And angst, Gender-Neutral Runner Five, I have a lot of feels about what happened after ok, after the apocalypse, after-canon, because who doesn't need some angst fic in their life, fluff and friendship, interractive storywriting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-11 23:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7075312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cana_banana/pseuds/Cana_banana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[NOTE: This and my other works are on hold temporarily because I am approaching finals with hasty steps. I will try my best to continue them during/after this May!]</p><p>The apocalypse is over. The threats you knew off has been diminished, including the majority of the zombies, and settlements of survivors are starting to become small cities – The world is starting to recover. Abel too.<br/>But during a scouting mission 3 years, 2 months and 8 days ago, you, Runner 5, vanished from Abel Township without a trace. No backpack, no runner number, no dead or undead body was found, only a broken headset - but Colonel Janine DeLuca declared you dead after 9 months of searching in vain and no indication of life. Many grieved cross-country and even cross-borders.<br/>They never knew that you survived for this long, against the odds. And now, after the end of the end of the world, it might be time for you to return.</p><p>What do you wish to do? Will you return to Abel Township?</p><p>>YES – PRESS TITLE AND PROCEED TO CHAPTER 1<br/>>NO – IGNORE AND KEEP SCROLLING</p><p>[There will be individual spoiler warnings for the chapters!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. BABY I'M BACK

CHAPTER ONE: BABY I’M BACK

[Authors note: This chapter contains no spoilers for any of the seasons! Enjoy!]

One-two-one-two. Breathe in breathe out. You let your feet thump against the ground in rhythm to the imaginary, stable beat in your mind that your breath follows. It’s the way you’ve always done it – Either that, or humming an upbeat tune you might have listened to sometime before the apocalypse, when running was just exercise and not a skill that lives depended on. Not as often, anyways. There are still zombies around these days, but they are few and usually long between.

You don’t need to consider the route. Your feet knows where to carry you even when you are absentminded, because it is a familiar line of trees to the left and wide open plains to the right, a well-known, worn down path and open land ahead and behind.  
You really are still not sure about this. After all, your disappearance from Abel Township was sudden and you haven’t said a word to any of them since then, not even a clue that you were still alive and maybe it would just startle them, perhaps upset them if you returned. Hell, you don’t know if they are even still all alive. At this point, though, you cannot make yourself stop because you just need to know if they are doing okay and if they are, well, maybe you can leave silently.

Anyways, your mind keeps getting side-tracked with these thoughts, huh? It is hard not to let them. You feel your backpack thumping against your back and try to let it distract you from the thought you know will come next, but it is almost impossible not to.  
Abandoning Abel was never easy. If it could even be called abandon – Maybe not initially but it may have become abandonment the moment you decided not to return, no matter what reason you had.

 

So, Runner 5. What was your reason to leave Abel Township behind?

>IT WAS AN UNWILLING CHOICE AFTER BEING ATTACKED ON THE SCOUTING – PROCEED TO CHAPTER 2  
>IT WAS A WILLING CHOICE OF MY OWN – PROCEED TO CHAPTER 3


	2. NEVER FORGET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOUR CHOICE TO LEAVE ABEL WAS AN UNWILLING ONE, AFTER AN ATTACK.

**CHAPTER 2: NEVER FORGET**

 

[Authors note: Spoiler warning for Season 3-4, particularly regarding the Ministry as well as Sigrid (The Minister). If you do not know who Ian Golightly is, then this chapter may seem confusing to you as well - I recommend having passed at least almost through season 4 if you want to avoid all spoilers! Enjoy!]

 

 

 _“Runner 5, do you copy?_ ”

You nod, but realize that this is obviously not visible through the comms and you quickly add a short ‘yep’ between two breaths as you jog at a rather decent pace. You didn’t have time to warm up before going, so you consider this your warm-up, which Janine thankfully doesn’t mind. It’s not like you are running for your life yet.

“ _Good._ ” You hear the shuffling of paper, likely some mission briefing notes that Janine keeps for her own reference – And Sam’s, because he still ‘forgets’ to read them.

He elaborates from somewhere next to Janine in the comms room. “ _Yeah, this should be an easy one, 5. Just a perimeter run to make sure Sigrid’s remaining isn’t making some... Funky advances of any sort. Y’know, even with her out of the picture, a few of the loyal ones, namely Ian, are kinda, uh, keen on getting revenge if you know what I’m saying._ ”

Well, obviously. It wasn’t like Ian would have liked you even if you hadn’t helped take Sigrid down – You always got in his way in the first place and his priorities were always askew from yours, so you didn’t get along well. You never tried to, though, especially not after the whole ‘i’m gonna kill you’ business.

“ _Although I might not have phrased it exactly like that, Mr. Yao, that is what we are doing, yes. You just need to run around the perimeter through the woodland path to make sure that the area is safe from both zombies and Sigrid’s people.”_

_“And especially not Sigrid’s people as zombies!”_

A sigh. “ _No, especially not that. Go on Five, give it a short burst of speed and then this should be over with in a good 40 minutes._ ”

You smile to yourself, mostly because you can almost sense Sam’s sullen expression when Janine takes his joke seriously. It happens so often that you know exactly what _that_ silence sounds like. But it’s reassuring, because you know that as long as Sam jibbers and Janine’s annoyed at him, everything’s fine and nothing’s out of order. Sam also jokes when he’s stressed but it’s a different kind, where he sounds legitimately terrified at the same time and Janine immediately would become very strict and straight-forward if something was wrong.

So you listen to their trivial talking, with an occasional instruction in-between like ‘turn right here’ or ‘got a few zoms on your tail, try and speed up a bit’, which you follow.

By the time you reach the forest, your mind has started to wander, because it does and you listen with half an ear into the comms but Janine and Sam are also just chattering about which is normal, so you think none of it. You should know that it’s dangerous to let your mind drift – The apocalypse hasn’t ended yet, so there are always risks and it’s important to consider them.

It’s just not always that you do it. This time, you forgot. Sam forgot, Janine forgot. It was a pleasant stroll for you honestly and you weren’t paying attention.

In retrospect, you would realize that that noise you’d heard wasn’t static from the headset, nor was the shuffling sound behind you from one of the trailing zombies and you’d remember Sarah’s advice to never _ever_ ignore a noise out of place. You had no idea what was wrong until Janine broke Sam off mid-sentence, likely with some violent gesture with her hand and leaning towards the mic,

“ _Five, we have no cameras in that part of the forest, but I can see figures on the scanner. Not zombies – Someone’s following you._ ”

You can hear the tension through the calm of her voice and you do tense but you do not look behind you and you do not turn around, just like you’ve trained. The moment you do, whoever ‘someone’ is, they will know that they’ve been noticed if you react. “What do I do?” You answer quietly with your eyes straight forward and pace not changing.

“ _Uhhh, hang on, don’t stop- I’m trying to get some of the other cameras to give me some feed on who it is… Arh, I can’t see anything with these bloody trees everywhere! Janine, do you have any idea of who it is? Any chance it’s just Amelia trying to give us a good scare or something?”_

_“You’re not far from the edge of the forest, you can get out of there if you put on a burst of speed and then we have you on camera---“_

If Janine continues, you don’t hear her. There is shuffling in the bushes, you cry out defensively when someone grabs your arm, and try to yank it free immediately. As you do, you see that it is a strong man who grips you and you do not know him, but he does not let go when you struggle, although you put up quite the fight.

With all good reason, you assume that he is an enemy  and your free hand go to your utility belt for your gun, which has a bit of ammo left just in case.

“ _Five! Oh my God—Five, what’s going on!? I hate not being able to see anything! Get out of there, come on!”_

There is some more jabbering in your ear from both Sam and Janine but it’s all pretty vague to you since none of it really helps you currently, struggling against a man who is quite a lot taller and broader than yourself while you try to get your gun.

Your fingers touch the cold metal – They brush it, you are so close to wrapping your fingers around it when something even colder and definitely metallic hits the side of your head and you might have screamed or just rasped out hoarsely, you’re not quite sure, but you don’t remember how you ended up on the ground – That’s for certain.

Now you’re there, though. Your vision is swimming and voices sound as if they are underwater as a face comes into your view and you would have bolted up if the damn world hadn’t been so close to disappearing into a black ring that is dangerously close to enveloping your eyesight fully.

“ _Five? Five! Oh God, Janine, I think they’ve got Five! You gotta do something!”_

_“I know, Mr. Yao, I’m working on it! But I don’t know who we are up against!”_

Janine sounds aggressive, but she does under pressure and you want to tell her that you know who you are up against, but your voice fails you.

“Sam Yao, what a pleasure to hear your voice again! And Miss DeLuca – Don’t worry! The good news is that you _know_ who you are up against! The bad news is that you can do nothing about it!”

“ _Ian!_ ”

Ian Golightly always spoke with an uncomfortably nasal accent, that you’d despise whether he was your ally or not, but at least it’s recognizable from anywhere. You make an attempt to stand but a foot presses down on your hand none-too-gently and the other hand is already restrained by the soldier as your hear a van pulling up somewhere nearby.

“ _Ian, there is no good for you doing this! The Minister is dead, no one’s going to praise you for capturing our runner!”_

“Oh Janine, so naïve, thinking that I do this to please a dead person! If everyone had stopped trying to satisfy the dead, a lot more lives could have been saved, don’t you think?” Ian snickers at his own ‘clever’ remark and look down at you to see the glare you’re sending his way. “No, I just think Runner 5 here has been a menace throughout all of this and I wanted some fun now that you’d all let your guard down for a little while!” He’s damn right you’ve been a menace and if he’s not careful, you’re gonna be even worse soon.

“ _Ian, I swear if you hurt Runner 5—“_

You don’t hear more from them. Your headset is taken out, Ian stepped on it right in front of you, breaking it into tiny fragments, and after that, you are hauled into the car.

 

The next long while, you were with _them._ The remaining holders of Sigrid’s loyalty, and if not that, at least shared hatred for you. You were not the only prisoner, there were a few other people none of whom you knew (which you weren’t sure if you appreciated or not) that somehow had also been an inconvenience to these people and needed their punishment. As it turned out, there were more people than you in Abel initially believed to be with Sigrid. They were almost like nomads, having a bunch of trucks that they just stayed in as movable settlement. Apparently, since the Ministry had been overthrown, Ian had bitterly made it his mission to get revenge over the people he personally disliked for one reason or another – You overheard that one of the early nights. The guy’d gone mad and maybe that was why people followed his word, because a mad man was willing to do things that any sane person might not. Some people just loved the drama.

They were not kind to you. And at several points, they almost broke you but they never fully did. You found out pretty fast that you were not the only prisoner. Most of the time, you were kept apart to avoid ‘conspiracies’ but you saw them and managed to share quiet conversations occasionally when the guards weren’t paying attention. Most of them were like you; A survivor, whether they’d been part of a resisting group or just an opposing individual, who had made life difficult for the former reporter and his fellows.

It was one of the other prisoners who helped you escape from there after god-knows-how-long. She was a lady in her 60ies who had apparently been frustratingly against Ian’s ideas and continuously pestered him about it to the point of driving him mad. She told you, one night, that her family had mostly died in the apocalypse and that she had been against Sigrid the moment she discovered what Abel had known for much longer than the rest of the world. And she knew who you were.

That wasn’t a surprise, because you’d made quite the name for yourself. But the lady, whom you never got the name of, was silently enthusiastic because she was certain that if anyone, you’d have the will to actually keep going on alive in the world if you got out.

Her self-sacrifice was one you would always remember. The distraction she offered for you was likely enough to have gotten her killed, but she had snuck you the few rations she had managed to hide before they searched her and despite your protests had said that ‘her time was over now’. She would never regain it, she said, not fully and happily and would rather have someone escape at her expense than for both of them to live and die miserably.

It was a weak repay to give for someone, a stranger, to give up their life for your freedom but nonetheless, when you got a hold of your backpack, you found the chocolate bar in the hidden compartment that Ian’s people had not discovered and gave it to her. Her smile was the most genuine you had seen in a long time and she thanked you, adding quietly that people like you were the reason the world was still good, that it had not all gone to hell even after the end of the world.

 

So you got out in the dark of night, alone, with only few rations and no contacts, with no idea where you were or how long you’d been gone. Ian’s folk noticed and he cried after you that ‘he would get you killed no matter the sacrifices it took’ but they never caught you again.

The first time went on finding food, staying alive and as you did that, you tried to find any settlement at which you could use a radio to contact Abel.

Doing that took longer than anticipated, but you did it – However contacting them, you did not. You started by tuning in to the different frequencies to figure out if anyone was there at all and you found that Sam was, and almost spoke up—Until you overheard the door open and close in the comms room and the operator shushing the newcomer which made you hesitate and pause.

 _“Sarah’s finally asleep._ ” He whispered and you could hear the smile in his voice and then following, the soft, amused chuckle of Maxine Meyers, quiet footsteps coming closer to the mic.

“ _Good… Janine asked me to tell you that you can go to bed too. It’s late, and all the runners are back home safely for the night._ ”

You hold your breath, staring at the microphone in front of you and wondering if you should speak up and say that one was missing but you instead just awaited Sam’s response, unable to make yourself interrupt such a.. Peaceful, almost sacred moment.

There is silence on the line for a few seconds and you wonder if the sound has died, until Sam responded with a “ _Yeah, I know. I’ll be out in a sec._ ” And you felt your stomach twist a bit. Not necessarily in betrayal or anger or anything because you weren’t there and didn’t count as ‘a runner back home safely’ anymore, because who could blame them? You’d been gone for so long now, at least it feel like that…

But you feel sad. Because you aren’t a runner back home safely anymore. If all runners are back home and you were not there, you don’t fall under the category of a runner of Abel anymore, you’d suppose. The microphone stare at you as aggressively as you stare at it but you bit your lip and flick the ‘mute’ switch to ‘on’ and sigh, staring at the black screen and your blurry reflection in it.

Well, you had only arrived as a helicopter-crash refugee technically. Sam and Maxi sounded happy enough… You don’t know what had happened in Abel in the meantime. Maybe, yeah, maybe contacting them would just bring back the past now. And besides, if Ian is still hunting you down, going to Abel would bring them at risk (again) and you don’t want that.

So you don’t contact them – Only listen in occasionally from different radio stations, just to check up and make sure they are okay. It was fine that you aren’t there, if they are safe. You always had a feeling that you brought more trouble to Abel than good anyways.

Over the years that eventually passed, you sent them some anonymous packages too through a few contacts, pretending that it is some care package from an unheard-of military group. Usually some silly items from somewhere or even the occasional food item that you know someone will love back home. As a form of consolation to yourself and them, maybe.

 

 

But, so long after, you decide to seek them out anyways because you can only get so much intel from radios and you want to see them, even if they don’t see you. Correct?

 

>IF YES – PROCEED TO CHAPTER 4

>IF NO – YOU DO NOT CONTACT ABEL AND REMAIN ANONYMOUS. RETURN TO ZOMBIES, RUN SEARCH TAG


	3. KEEP ON WALKING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOUR CHOICE TO LEAVE ABEL WAS A WILLING ONE OF YOUR OWN.

**CHAPTER 3: KEEP ON WALKING**

[Authors note: No spoilers for any of the seasons apart from a reference to Ian Golightly from Season 3-4. Enjoy!]

 _“Runner 5, do you copy?_ ”

You nod, but realize that this is obviously not visible through the comms and you quickly add a short ‘yep’ between two breaths as you jog at a rather decent pace. You didn’t have time to warm up before going, so you consider this your warm-up, which Janine thankfully doesn’t mind. It’s not like you are running for your life yet. If Janine had listened hard enough, she’d notice that your voice was strained for more reasons than just a light jog (it honestly doesn’t affect you much generally).

“ _Good._ ” You hear the shuffling of paper, likely some mission briefing notes that Janine keeps for her own reference – And Sam’s, because he still ‘forgets’ to read them. Doesn’t seem like any of them noticed.

He elaborates from somewhere next to Janine in the comms room. “ _Yeah, this should be an easy one, 5. Just a perimeter run to make sure Sigrid’s remaining isn’t making some... Funky advances of any sort. Y’know, even with her out of the picture, a few of the loyal ones, namely Ian, are kinda, uh, keen on getting revenge if you know what I’m saying._ ”

Well, obviously. It wasn’t like Ian would have liked you even if you hadn’t helped take Sigrid down – You always got in his way in the first place and his priorities were always askew from yours, so you didn’t get along well. You never tried to, though, especially not after the whole ‘i’m gonna kill you’ business.

“ _Although I might not have phrased it exactly like that, Mr. Yao, that is what we are doing, yes. You just need to run around the perimeter through the woodland path to make sure that the area is safe from both zombies and Sigrid’s people.”_

_“And especially not Sigrid’s people as zombies!”_

A sigh. “ _No, especially not that. Go on Five, give it a short burst of speed and then this should be over with in a good 40 minutes._ ”

A small, 40 minute run. Should be enough, really. You more or less appreciated that Sam just kept on with his gibberish comments of Janine not appreciating his humor and Janine chiding him about his behavior on ‘crucial missions’. It was just so.. Them. Just what you needed right now.

“ _Thaaat’s great Five! Strong pace – See I’ll never understand how some people can run like this even after the apocalypse happened. I mean I would only last about 10 minutes at that pace.”_

_“Try 6 minutes, Mr. Yao. Probably barely even. You always sit in the comms room, so why should you be able to run more?”_

_“Oi, are you saying I’m weak? Because I can assure you that although not as good as our Head of Runners, I can run from zombies for more than 6 minutes!”_

_“Do you want to test that on the training grounds?”_

_“Yeah you know, on second thought, 6 minutes seem about right.”_

You smile to yourself and hear Janine sigh all the same but you know she doesn’t mean it seriously. She pretends to be uptight in mission situations but is more light-hearted than she appears. You’re going to miss that.

“ _You’ll be entering the forest soon, Five. It looks good and no zoms too close. We don’t have cams in that dense area of the woods, you know, but I see nothing on the radar so you should be good.”_

You’re going to miss a lot of things, but it’ll be for the best. You haven’t told anyone about this – Only Owen looked at you a little strangely this morning when he saw you with quite the load in your backpack, but you didn’t explain it, just hurried on.

It has been a long time coming, but you know it’ll seem sudden from the outside because, well, it is. You have made the decision to leave Abel behind.

If you told Sam, Jody or Maxine or Paula or Owen they’d just be upset. Confused. Janine would be critically analytical as usual. Amelia would probably not be surprised, just assume it natural that you’d ‘get bored eventually’. But you’re not sure they’ll understand so, as cowardly as it is, you assume it better if you just… Don’t tell them.

Sam jabbers on in your ear about some old tv-show he watched as a kid while your feet carries you to the dense, woodland area that you know will be the end-station for you as an Abel Runner and the thought of telling them that you’re gonna leave, hell, even the thought of not doing it at all, strikes you. You hold your ground for your own sake though; at least you tell yourself that.

It’s not because you’re tired of them and God forbid, it’s not because you’re betraying them. Not at all, you love Abel and the people there mean so much to you, they are your family.. Which is why you see it necessary to go. You know that many people across the country are still after you because you’ve got intel and you’re a valuable personality and a lot of people still hold grudges (cough Ian cough). Staying in Abel is too dangerous for them, for little baby Sarah and for all those you care about.

That, as well as the fact that you yearn for some purpose. The zombie apocalypse isn’t over but all you do these days is running perimeter runs and Janine says that it’s a waste of resources to head further out… So now, you will do it yourself. And you’ll likely take contact to Abel again soon enough and explain it all to them but you really need to get out for a bit. You’re a runner, for Pete’s sake, not a guard.

“Any zombies, Sam?” You ask and you hear Sam pause his sentence and hum thoughtfully before answering.

“ _..Uhhhh no, it doesn’t seem like it – Not nearby anyways, a small horde to the northwest but that’s about all. They’re a good 10 minutes away from you at ordinary pace._ ” He explains calmly and you thank him.

No zoms in the direction you’re heading. Good.

You know that there are no cameras here and you pause for a second when you hear Sam and Janine talking about something trivial again, just to reconsider… And then you make a break for it in another direction.

It takes a while before any of them notice.

“ _Runner 5, what on Earth are you doing? You are far off route!_ ” It’s Janine who points it out and she sounds surprised and stern all the same, almost making you flinch like a child caught with its fingers in the cookie jar. “ _Why are you heading East? Mr. Yao, did you not say there were no zombies on the path?”_

_“Eh, uh, yes—I mean no- well yeah there are no zombies on the path! Five, what are you doing?”_

Janine sounds stern and Sam sounds concerned. Just like how it’s supposed to be, you think and bite your lip, not answering any of them.

“ _Runner 5, report immediately! Where are you going?_ ”

Already now, you are beginning to get out of range because the headset crackles a bit and you have to slow down because otherwise you’ll be out of reach before you have a chance to say anything. But you do say something.

“I-I’m sorry, Janine, Sam—I’m really sorry, but I’ve gotta do this. I hope you understand.”

“ _Five what the hell—“_

_“What are you—“_

The voices talking on top of each other are cut off at the same time as you pull the headset off, breathe out shakily and toss it on the ground. You didn’t actually mean to break it, because the equipment could still have been used but in your minor panic you throw it hard enough for the microphone to fall off, rendering it somewhat useless.

“..Sorry.” You whisper again, more to yourself, as you (with some effort) turn to continue on your own route.

 

And this was what you did. You did mean to contact Abel again but it was harder to find a settlement than you thought and by the time you did, you got cold feet – You backed out on them without an explanation, incredibly suddenly. It would not surprise you if they were mad and you don’t want to face that… What a chicken, actually.

Just like before the apocalypse, when you would mean to answer a text and never got around to it, and it would eventually reach a point where it would just be unacceptable to answer it at all – Yeah, that happened, it seemed. The longer time passed, the less you could make yourself message them because you became a fragment of the past. You still listened in on them occasionally, obviously, without saying anything. Just to make sure they were doing well.

Over the years that eventually passed, you sent them some anonymous packages too through a few contacts, pretending that it is some care package from an unheard-of military group. Usually some silly items from somewhere or even the occasional food item that you know someone will love back home. As a form of consolation to yourself and them, maybe.

 

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. You’re feel like you need to return to Abel to let them know you are still alive. Correct?

 

>IF YES – PROCEED TO CHAPTER 4

>IF NO – YOU DO NOT CONTACT ABEL AND REMAIN ANONYMOUS. RETURN TO ZOMBIES, RUN SEARCH TAG


	4. SAFE AND SOUND

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU HAVE DECIDED TO HEAD INTO ABEL ON YOUR OWN ACCOUNT DESPITE YOUR DOUBTS.

**CHAPTHER 4: SAFE AND SOUND**

 

[Authors note: This chapter contains no spoilers, but some references to characters from Season 3 and ahead, as well as a brief reference to the 5K training app.

* In the 5K training app, you are given the old Runner 5 (Alice Dempsey)’s backpack.

**Dr. Lobatse

 

So that’s what happened, and now you’re here and you really don’t know if you’re doing the right thing but you’re doing it nonetheless. It’s not that easy to keep count of time when you’re not in a set place, but you know it’s been years since you’ve been here – Not because you didn’t want to return, you always had the urge to… But in the end just never dared out of fear of their reaction. ‘Hey, guess who left you all behind and never took contact even if I was alive the whole time! Good to see you!’ is not exactly the best opening line and you wouldn’t know what else to say.

It’s winter now, nearing Christmas… Probably. More or less. And of course this is Britain so it’s not like the weather is any more than rainy and cold – Although you did stop by the weather station nearby and it appears that there might be a slight chance of some snow that’ll last a day or two.

White puffs of air come out of your mouth with every breath and you slow your pace a little as you come over the hill and catch sight of the fence around the perimeter, the tower with the red light and the comms tower, and the gates – Which look different, newer. Most of it does.

There are still zombies, the world is still rather post-apocalyptic but a cure was found for those not completely turned (of course by no other than Veronica McShell) so new people don’t really turn any more. The zombies that remain are just the ones that no one has managed to kill yet, but will get around to when they become too much trouble or there’s resources for sending out a party to deal with it. So a lot of the security is just for good measure.

Still there, though. You can’t sneak in – Well, maybe you could, because unless they fixed it, there’s still a secret, hidden hole in the fence somewhere. You don’t really want to try though, because that will make you seem like the bad guy and you don’t have a death wish. No one tries to break into Janine DeLuca’s stronghold if they have any sense left in their head. Which you have. More or less.

 

You are wearing a dark jacket you found in an old storeroom somewhere and the hood is covering your head enough so that you won’t be recognizable from a distance. Your backpack, if it’s someone familiar who stands on top of the wall, might be though. You know it belonged to the old Runner 5*, and you got it when you arrived at Abel and never let go if it – It is very worn down now though.

There’s a box in it and one of the corners occasionally hit your back uncomfortably. Aside from a few rations, there’s a package there and it’s really your excuse for coming by Abel today… It’s around Christmas, or the holidays, or whatever the different people celebrate. There’s a variety of things in there, children’s toys (For little Sarah who’s probably not as little anymore), a few movies and half-broken action figurines for Sam as well as some Chinese ingredients of sorts (that stuff never goes stale!), some med equipment, electronics parts, even some fresh new running shoes. Some of the runners might have to fight over those, but well…

It’s good the backpack is roomy. You could have sent someone to deliver it but the urge to come back became so strong that you decided to do it yourself, albeit secretly. Just peek in a window to see them and then be off again as soon as you can without showing yourself. That’s the plan. There’s a note in the box too, not very specific. It just says ‘Take care and stay strong’ for the reason that the phrase is common between survivors, but to you, it holds another meaning, a more personal one from you to them.

 

You draw up to the big metal gates and see two guards on top of the wall looking down at you silently for a while. You reluctantly wave up to them.

“Who goes there?”

“I’m a friendly presence! An, uh, old friend of this place. No zombie bites, I promise!” You answer them after a moment of hesitation and one of the guards peer down suspiciously at you.

“You didn’t answer the question!”

“..I’m an old runner from this place. A long time ago, mid-apocalypse at some point. I just need a place to stay overnight and then I’ll be off! I’ve got my own rations!” You assure them because you know they won’t let you in otherwise.

The gates open enough for you to walk in. Right inside the gate, the area is closed off by a fence within a few meters, just in case someone dangerous or infected slips in – It’s a good way to check people before they get to go into the township.

They do that, too. “One of the doctors will check up on you.” The guard gruffed down and you tense for a second – Of course, one of the doctors had to check you over for protocol. Oh God, what if it’s Maxine or Paula or Kefilwe?** You really seriously consider turning right around and head off as fast as you’d come when the gate into the fenced area opens and you tensely turn to look towards it.

A silent sigh of relief leaves you when a young man, dusty brown hair and with a jacket very similar to a lab coat steps towards you. He carries a clipboard and a pen with him and gives you an evaluating look when you face him. You push the hood down and smile slightly at him.

Please don’t recognize me. Please don’t recognize me.

“Hello there, I’m Dr. Fellan. I’m just going to check you over to make sure you carry nothing dangerous and is not infected with the zombie virus.” He cites the paper and watches you. He doesn’t seem to know who you are, thankfully. “If you have anything with you of danger or make any attempts of attack or anything we in the township determine a threat, you will be detained by the guards and it will be decided what to do with you. Now do you have anything to declare? What do you carry and what is your business?”

You pretend that you have to think about the question, but you already know this procedure for checking strangers coming to the settlement.

“I carry a gun with me and a little bit of extra ammo for self-protection as a traveler.” You tell him honestly, fishing the gun out from your belt to show him. “I have not been bitten. There’s rations and various items in my backpack, nothing that can cause harm, and I will not take rations from the township. Businesswise… I just need to stay somewhere for a night or two and then I’ll be going again.”

“You said you were an old friend, a runner? What’s your name?”

You don’t answer. You can’t. You’ve generally been careful with giving out any name and especially not your identity as Runner 5 from Abel Township even if that’s what you identify the most with. “Uh..”

The young doctor, presumably relatively new here, looks at you expectantly but suspiciously. You have to answer him or they will think you’re hiding something and probably bring you to the quarantine until Janine or someone else of authority can go and see for themselves.

“I was Runner 11. Before Kytan. I wasn’t here for very long before I had to go on a very long mission and didn’t have a chance to return because of an unfortunate series of incidents.” You improvise quickly, hoping that because this apparent doctor is new, he won’t know that Kytan is the second Runner 11 and that the first one died almost in the beginning of Abel’s existence in the apocalypse.

Maybe the guy’s careless or maybe he doesn’t really care that much about your identity as long as you’re not dangerous. At least he only scribbles something down, proceeds to look you over and questions no more of your identity. The ‘5’ on the backpack is almost invisible after being worn down and dirty and he doesn’t see it.

“Very well. Everything seems to be in order – You can go into the township. No funny behavior, remember that! The people here are very loyal and anything slightly suspicious will be taken very seriously. I will keep your weapon – When you leave, you can come and get it by the guards.”

You think to yourself that Janine probably would kick the guy for not being a bit more thorough with his check-up over an apparent stranger but for now you’ve had your lucky escape. “Of course, doc!” You smile and put your backpack on and is let through the metal gate and into the township.

 

You did it. You’re in! And you haven’t been spotted yet!

For a second, you let your guard down because, well… It’s Abel, and you’re back and it’s _home_ even after so long. It doesn’t look that different – There are some more houses and it looks fresher and cleaner (with less zombies and less threats of attack, people have time to grow crops and generally make the place seem homey and not just essential for survival) and despite the cold air, many are outside. Some kids by the farms are building ‘snowmen’ out of sand and throwing sand-balls at each other, since there’s not really any snow. Although the clouds are heavy above you, so there might be some soon enough.

You smile and slowly start walking down the frozen roads, it feels surreal to see the buildings and hear people talking, and you completely forget to pay attention to where you are going. It’s almost a force of habit, returning from a run and heading towards the comms shack – Either to reassure Sam that you’re not dead or to report to Janine or have Maxine check you over (at her order).

 

You don’t quite get there before you stop yourself, though. Not for any particular reason other than hesitation because you might find Sam there and when you repeat the idea in your head, it makes your stomach churn with excitement and regret all the same. You’ll see _Sam_ but you’ll also _see Sam_. After a vanishing stunt like that and not even making an attempt of contact… Even though many of your friends in Abel might react with happy surprise, they might just as well react with immediate hurt and betrayal. Which would be fair, all things considered.

By the time you stop walking at all, you are by the comms hut where the operators usually are and it takes some building up before you go over there and you peek in the window holding your breath and—

There’s no one in there. The sigh that leaves you could be one of relief or disappointment, you’re not quite sure. It’s dark – Presumably because no runners are out anyways now that it’s starting to get dark and it’s so cold outside. Unless for some missionary procedure, there’s no need for anyone to be out now.

Shifting your backpack, you tap your own cheek with a finger in thought while the other is on the cold wall, feeling the texture of the wood absentmindedly. You’re still looking in the window and almost feel your knees going weak when seeing the opened marmite jar and curly-wurly wrappers thrown dismissively on the floor. It’s dusty and the broken couch is still broken, maybe with a new sheet on one of the pillows – The only difference with the place is that there are a few children’s toys in there for little Sarah to entertain herself with, presumably.

 

“Hey—If you’re looking for Sam, he’s at Janine’s. And if you’re looking for Janine, she’s at hers too!”

A chipper, accented voice speaks behind you and damn nearly scares you to death just because you didn’t hear someone come up to you. “Oh, no, I was just looking around, it’s been a while since I was here…--“ You answer, having a hard time tearing your eyes from the window.

When you do, you might as well have seen the dead awaken—ah no that’s not appropriate or useful anymore, that would just be daily occurrence – You might as well have seen a dog on a unicycle with a hat and a sign that says ‘you messed up big time’ with the face you pulled.

So does the newcomer. Her eyes widen to the size of saucers and she freezes in a position that indicated that she was about to walk off.

“… _Five_?”

Shitshitshitshitshit.

You laugh awkwardly – what an awful response to stressful situations, honestly, you ought to do something about that.

“Y-Yeah, heh, long time no see, Jody. “

 

 

Ouh-oh, so much for staying hidden away during your visit. Your old friend Runner 4, Jody Marsh, caught you red-handed! She’s always been light-hearted to good people – But how is she going to handle this?

What are you going to do?

 

>TRY AND TALK WITH HER AND EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED – PROCEED TO CHAPTER 5

>LOCKED.


	5. SIX DEGREES OF SEPERATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU TRY TO GET A HOLD OF JODY TO EXPLAIN TO HER WHAT HAPPENED.

CHAPTER 5: SIX DEGREES OF SEPERATION

[Authors note: There are no spoilers in this chapter, except from a minor reference to Season 3 (regarding 5’s position as a runner) and 4 (regarding Maxine and Paula’s relationship-ish hahaha). I hope you are enjoying it so far, at the very least it’s a fun project for me to be writing!

Might as well add that if this goes well, I might add more options/paths to previous as well as future chapters. For now it’s just a few of the ideas, as it’ll otherwise take wayyyyy too long! But you are very welcome to give ideas to another route if you have any, then I’ll try my best to bring it into the story somewhere! Thanks a lot for reading up until here, at least! <3]

 

_“…Five?”_

_Shitshitshitshitshit._

_You laugh awkwardly – what an awful response to stressful situations, honestly, you ought to do something about that._

_“Y-Yeah, heh, long time no see, Jody. “_

So you know that feeling when you’re desperately trying to avoid an old friend or old flame because it ‘ended badly’ or avoiding your creepy uncle at family gatherings just because you _really_ don’t want to associate with him?

Yeah, it’s like that, only in the case scenario that you stayed away without telling them of your situation as living in a world of dead and un-dead for a couple of years. Quite specific. But your current situation despite it all.

 

Jody is looking at you as if she has seen a ghost and sure, you might not react superbly to stressful situations always, but you know Jody – And you know that she might freak out within the next 10 seconds and you’re in the middle of the township, no less right by the comms hut. That in itself is not far from Janine’s house.

So you act fast. “Alright, Jody, ‘hi hello, it’s me, Runner 5 whom you haven’t seen for a good 2-3 years and I’m guessing I was presumed dead so whoops, good to see you again’” You say quickly and rather sarcastically, reaching for her arm and tugging at it.

She stutters something that sounds like the beginning syllabuses for various sentences, never reaching the end of any of them.

“I know, look, I’ll explain – Just, eh, can we do it somewhere with… Less people?  I kinda haven’t told anyone that I’m here and I ran _really_ far, so I’d appreciate if we could take it quietly without any freaking out, okay?”

No answer – Jody, chipper, talkative Jody – just looks stunned for 10 more seconds before she nods reluctantly and you move a hand to her chin, nudging it with a small ‘close your mouth, alright, great, let’s get going’.

With an air of I’m-in-a-hurry-but-I’m-trying-to-pretend-I’m-not, you pull Jody with you and she doesn’t say a word, for which you’re not sure if you’re happy or concerned, but until you find a place to chat and she doesn’t say your name, that’s all well and good.

You navigate as if you were never gone. Even if there are new houses and some upgrades (some very nice ones, mind you) the pathways haven’t changed much and you pull Jody to a spot you sometimes went, sometimes with other runners after a tough run. It was always rather hidden away, no one usually came apart from said runners. It was a bit like a pact, since many went there to earn peace away from the township for a few moments if someone had passed away or gotten hurt or something had happened on a run.

So you knew Jody knew of the place. But you are careful in peeking around the corner of the farm building nonetheless, although finding no one there.

“Yea.. No one’s touched the place, don’t worry. We still use it sometimes.”

Jody seems to have found her voice again, even if it is very quiet and still as much in disbelief as you’d expect. You glance over your shoulder and nodded, pulling her with you behind the building to the log that you would use as a seat. You don’t sit down, though, but offer it to Jody. She denies it.

 

“Jody, please understand that I’m really sorry about this, I didn’t mean to hide away for so long, and I didn’t even mean for you to notice me now, everything that happened—“

“Why are you back now?”

You blink. “What?”

In response, she shrugs vaguely, but watches you closely. It pains you a little bit that you see concern in her eyes, not because you want to see anything else, but out of guilt – because you have no right to make her feel _concerned._ If anything, she has the right to yell at you for not giving word. But then again, she never would. She is too kind-hearted.

“We haven’t seen you for so long now. Sure I want to know why, but… Why are you back _now_ if you weren’t earlier? You were always tactical. What brought you back?”

In sheer surprise of her response to your dramatic ‘back-from-the-dead-and-by-that-not-meaning-zombie-style’ return, you slump down onto the log and stare up at her for a few additional seconds, feeling that the roles have been reversed.

Jody chuckles quietly, but it almost sounds a little sad. “You know, Five, it’s okay. That you didn’t.. Say anything, I mean. It hurt, but it does and we get that you have your reasons.” She tells you, sitting down next to you and tapping her knee thoughtfully. “Of course… Sam was devastated. Panicked actually, didn’t know what to do with himself and almost drove himself nuts for a few nights. Janine too and the docs too, but they was more quiet about it. Me and Owen and a bunch of the others went lookin’ for you over and over but we didn’t find you, so we assumed the worst. That’s what you have to, these days.”

You wonder when she became so wise – You still remember when you first came to Abel and she was very skittish and nervous.

With a sigh, you rub your hands over your face just to gather your thoughts to answer for a moment. They _had_ assumed you dead, or well, un-dead. Same/same. They’d looked for you and oh God, Sam and Janine and Maxine and Paula… The runners--

“We found your headset, but that was it.”

“I didn’t mean to stay away for that long.” You said quietly, eyeing her. “I meant to return, or at least to contact you, but I couldn’t do it. I felt like it was too risky.” Already, you realized that it sounded like you were trying to defend yourself from an accusation that Jody had never put on you and with that, you thought that maybe it was because you felt the need to own up to what _you_ knew you’d done.

“Five – I don’t mean to be invasive or anything but if… If you don’t mind, can you tell me what happened? …We wondered about it for so long and never found out. We missed you a lot. You have no idea how many times Janine checked over the mission procedures checking for mistakes. You know how she is, she pretends to be all cool about it, but she was really sad, I think.”

That doesn’t help your guilt much, because Janine is always the level-headed and you know that if she is worried, the world’s ending. Again.

So you explain it to her. All of it. And maybe it makes you feel better too because you haven’t said this to anyone at all and it’s a little comforting being able to explain it to someone familiar. Jody is a good listener, she always was and you really do trust her. And she doesn’t seem to be judging you as you explain.

 

The runner nods along quietly as you finish, both unaware of how long you’ve been talking. “I’m really sorry you had to experience that, Five.” She hums and puts a hand on your shoulder for a second, comfortingly.

A little part of you wants to be mad at her because _why the hell is she not mad at you?_ It’s frustrating to some degree and you’d think that the zombie apocalypse would have hardened people, but Jody still is so kind. You meant to come here to drop off your, well, Christmas present, and that would have been _way_ easier if Jody had affirmed that it would be better if you just snuck off again. Now you’ll feel guilty about doing just that.

“It’s funny actually,” She smiles at you, again with some sort of melancholy or sadness to it, “Sam especially refused to ever accept that you were a goner…”

“…Why is that funny?” You ask lamely.

“I wasn’t done.” Jody grins crookedly at you, “It’s funny that you should come back now. None of us wanted to admit that you were probably never coming back, but every year around the bigger holidays, the ones we used to celebrate before the end of the world and all, Sam always puts up an extra plate.”

You frown at her.

She continue. “It’s become a thing, sort of. We talked to Jamie a while ago, he does it for Archie – Oh and he’s doing well by the way.” You must still look like you don’t quite get it and she rolls her eyes. “Geez Five, how long have you been away for? Sam puts up a plate for you at the table just in case you’d come back.”

The penny drops for you and you blink in surprise.

“By now it’s more of a habit than anything else I think, but no one objects to it. Janine tried to tell him that that would just be holdin on to it, but she doesn’t say anything anymore. Oh, Five, you have no idea how happy they’re gonna be when they see you again!” She says excitedly, and ironically, that’s what breaks your heart.

“Jody—“

“Janine pretended like it was just another number gone like she does, but we both know that’s just her defense mechanism – She was obsessed with trying to figure out what had happened, she’s going to be so relieved and--“

“Jody, I’m not—“

“This will be the best Christmas present for them all! Ohhh you need to meet Sarah again too, she’s grown up so much since you were here last! She—“

“Jody, I’m not going to talk to any of them!”

“…What?” Immediately, her excitement melts off and she tilts her head slightly, like a confused dog does it (which doesn’t help the slightest). “W-Why not?”

Yeah, you should just have stayed away. God, this was just what you hoped to avoid.

 

“I can’t. It’s been too long and- and I’m not sure they’ll understand as well as you did.” You try to explain and her face falls even more. You hate to be the one to make her look so sad. “I didn’t mean to come here—Well that’s not true, I did, but I didn’t mean to get seen. I’m a piece of the past now Jody. I’m just Runner 5. You guys are doing great here, there’s no need to rip up old wounds.” You try, “I just wanted to drop something off. It’s better if they just remain happy as they are, rather than having to suddenly adjust to ol’ me again.” You attempt humor weakly but it doesn’t come out as such, and the other runner just looks at you silently.

“I’d appreciate it a lot of you don’t tell anyone that I was here. If it’s just… If it’s just our little secret.”

The silence is long and makes you shift uncomfortably by the time that Jody finally talks, “…And let them believe that you’re dead when I’ve seen you alive?”

That makes it sound a lot more brutal than what you intended, but it’s the same thing, because that’s what you’re asking of her. So you nod slowly.

“Look, Five… I’ll do it because you ask me to, even though it’s not very easy. But… I really want you to know that it wouldn’t bring any old wounds up. The others would probably want an explanation, but they’d just be happy to have you back.” She stands up from the log and you watch her, tempted to do the same but refraining from it. “Y’know, you’re not just a runner. You were that too, but you weren’t just ‘Runner 5’. You were _Five_. There’s been other runners with that number, but it’s different with you – You _are_ Five. That’s your identity, or well, it at least is to us here. That doesn’t change before or after the apocalypse.” She is still watching you and you are fairly certain that your expression has changed but you are not sure what to.

“We retired the number when you vanished. It would be wrong to give it to someone else, because it was, well, you. You mean a lot to people here, still do. You saved many people in many ways. The whole township mourned it when you were declared dead.”

You cast your eyes down out of guilt because if that’s true, that people miss you… You had no idea that you could have that impact on people. Before the apocalypse, you did your thing, you went to class and perhaps half-heartedly exercised, but never felt that people _depended_ on you. Didn’t realize that during the apocalypse either, but when you came to Abel, at least it felt like you had a purpose. That the people here actually didn’t just depend or feel in debt to you but _cared_ about you…

“I, uh, I should go. I promised Janine to help trying to cook up a Christmas meal out of our limited ingredients.” Jody makes another attempt of a smile and you look up. It fades away and she nods at you respectfully, like people did formally when you were Head of Runners. Jody never did, because she was your friend rather than your subordinate.

“Good luck, Five. I’m… I’m gonna miss you.”

She turns to walk off and she starts to do that, making you stare after her and stand up, in conflict with yourself. In a few steps she’ll be around the corner, out of privacy and chance is that you won’t get ahold of her without gaining the attention of everyone else as well.

 

 

If you want to talk to her, you have to do it now. Do you wanna do that at all? Can you? And what are you going to say?

 

 

>DON’T SAY ANYTHING. IT IS BETTER THIS WAY. PROCEED TO CHAPTER 6

>TELL HER THAT YOU WANT TO SEE SAM. PROCEED TO CHAPTER 7

>TELL HER THAT YOU WANT TO SEE JANINE. PROCEED TO CHAPTER 8


End file.
